Ammon Miller: The Major Motion Picture

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Charlie Chaplin

Honestly, guys, does cinema get any better than this?

Monday, November 22, 2010

"Take Me Back to my Happy Land"

If you are my friend at all...there is no doubt that at some point I have annoyed you with my music. Whether it was singing loudly on a road trip, blasting it in the hallways at school, or hijacking your car's iPod adapter, it has happened. I suppose I have a very...unique taste in music. Sure there are plenty of people that enjoy listening to the same songs, but I think what sets me apart from most people is what I spend the majority of my time listening to.

My favorite band is and always will be The Beatles, but when I think about it, I don't listen to them nearly as much as I listen to other bands. I know this is very hipsterish of me to say, but I know very few people that listen to what I listen to regularly. I don't think that my taste in music is superior to anybody else's. I just think it stands out.

It really hasn't changed over the course of my life. Sure I've had phases of different obsessions, such as that silly Green Day phase (No offense to Green Day fans):


But since I can remember listening to music, I've always enjoyed lighthearted, comedic music. That's what has always struck a chord with me, no pun intended. I know for a fact that I have listened to every Weird Al parody at least ten times more than the original song.

In 7th grade I discovered They Might Be Giants, opening me up to a lush songiverse with lyrics about the science of the sun, a canary-shaped night light, and worms that didn't really go to medical school. There were plenty of other quirky songs by other bands such as "Everybody Walk the Dinosaur", "Opblaaskrokodil", and the ever immortal "Bananaphone." While other kids were falling in love with My Chemical Romance, Regina Spektor, and The Devil Wears Prada, I was blasting "Rock and Roll McDonald's." While people danced to Katy Perry and Flo Rida, I filled my iPod with Lemon Demon and was happy just to "Dance Like an Idiot." To me, they weren't just novelty songs. They were a lifestyle.

Not too long ago, but much too late, I found out about the Aquabats.
I knew that they were made for me.  Grown up guys that played ska/new wave, dressed up as superheroes, and fought villains on stage? These guys were practically programmed to be my homies!!! In a few short years I've become a total fanatic, anxiously awaiting to become an Aquacadet, an official member of their fan club.



These guys represent everything that I am. While it might seem strange that somebody would dedicate most of their music listening time to songs about silly subjects such as The Powdered Milk Man, Martian Girls, and Pool Parties, it saves me. I truly feel an emotional attachment to music like this.

People often lament about the loss of innocence and about how you can never return to your childhood again. They say that that uncorrupted happiness is lost forever.

I respectfully disagree.

Through people like the Aquabats, we can experience the simple, innocent joys in life. Sure there are always problems, but there's always a silly song to make you smile. Disney movies don't change their happy endings after your first heartbreak. The Power Rangers still have to form a giant robot at the end of every episode regardless of what mistakes you made over the weekend. My mother's chicken enchiladas taste the same way they did 15 years ago, even though the cells on my tastebuds have all died and been replaced. Think of how big the movie theatre was the first time you remember going. Think of how the THX sound was so loud that it almost made you want to cry and go home. Well, the theatre is the same size, and the sound is the same volume. It's all about perspective. You might have to sink lower in your chair and cup your ears, but if you try hard enough, you can make it new and exciting again.

That's how I feel about life. I feel like I wasted too much of my time being sad about what I'd lost, and I failed to see what I still had. As we grow older, we all have to gain knowledge. Some of it's awesome, and a lot of it sucks. But that's no reason to throw in the towel. Much of what we knew and loved as innocent children is still here. Sidewalk chalk, red rover, book orders, juice boxes, and super soakers are still around.

Parents disappoint, friends turn out to be enemies, and lovers stab us in the back. But didn't time-out seem like the end of the world as a toddler? It was almost unbearable. But I know that when I was alone, sitting on that repulsive pink chair in the bathroom, I would make up songs.

A couple weeks ago, I went to an Aquabats concert (With Reel Big Fish, but that's another story).


There was something totally liberating about seeing these real-life super heroes.



They aren't just super heroes for dressing up and fighting bad guys, but they are super heroes for being part of the countless comedians and entertainers that have kept me smiling and laughing so long I had no time for crying. I'm not a fan of Mark Twain, but he was right on when he said:

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place." 

I looked around at all the people around me. There were kids my age, 30 something guys with scruff and backwards baseball caps, middle-aged hippies, 11 year olds with their parents, and 50 year old women that could be any of my friends' moms. People of all ages, shapes, and colors were dressed up in ridiculous costumes. But all of them had the same look on their faces.

They were having fun.

Past the smells of onion-like body odor and too much perfume was the sweet smell of innocence. People were incredibly friendly. Everybody that I talked to talked back. I must have made a dozen friends that night. We showed off our t-shirts and flashy costumes. It felt like the first day of kindergarten.

Of course, as much as we might try, we will not be children again. We all long for the days when we didn't need to worry about school, relationships, or work. In the words of the 'Bats:


Running through my old life
Looking for my lost toys
Where has all my fun gone?
Now that we're all older
Before we grow much colder
Let's all look forward to the new dawn
An anthem for all lost toys
Now that we're all big boys
We'll stand together and sing this song:


(What I love about that is that there is still hope. We don't have to lose everything. We can still hold on to our memories and keep the spirit of our childhood fun and imagination alive.)


When I was a little man
Playdough came in a little can
I was Star Wars' biggest fan
Now I'm stuck without a plan
GI Joe was an action man
Shaggy drove the mystery van
Devo was my favorite band
Take me back to my happy land


When I listen to the Aquabats, They Might Be Giants, Weird Al, and even Wesley Willis, I go back to my happy land.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is why I spend so much time listening to the music I do. I don't mean to put down anybody else's music preferences. Most are better than mine. I just wanted to explain why I listen to what I listen to.

So there's my speech.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Parodies...

...are freaking hard to write. Well, good ones are, that is. The only reason that North Dakota Bois worked is because I've been cracking ND jokes for the past 18 years, and they all just flowed out onto the paper. But I remember ChiKen PoKs  taking me quite some time (and lots of research on Wikipedia) to get right.

Almost immediately after ND Bois came out, I tried to decide what my next parody would be. The first song that popped out at me was "Take It Off" by Ke$ha. I was going to make it about facebook, but it ended up being pretty weak. (Still, I wish I could have played with all that glitter.) I also thought about a Harry Potter version of "Your Love is my Drug" [I'm in the club, the club, the club of the Slug!] but Harry Potter needs a break from parodies...especially since its been spoofed by so many geniuses such as StarKid and Neil Cicierega. Any attempt to match up with the greats would be stupid.

Eventually I got to a point where I wanted to make a parody video so badly, I slapped some lyrics over a parody I wrote early this summer. [Some of you may have seen it, or heard the recording before. It was (Stuck With You) Forever, a parody of Chris Brown's "Forever". It was about Edward and Bella's marriage problems, and having to deal with an immortal nagging spouse.]
 
Anyway, as I was saying, I rushed to make a video out of a frankly out of tune and premature recording.  The result was an incredibly terrible video that ruined lyrics I was proud of. Fortunately, a YouTube commenter who gave constructive criticism (GASP!), pointed out how terrible it was. He gave me a lot of good advice on how to move forward after ND Bois. I promptly deleted the terrible video.

It was back to my brainstorming sessions. Every idea I came up with just didn't feel right. And that's when I finally figured it out. I thought about the advice the guy from YouTube gave me. He told me not to try to beat North Dakota Bois. He told me to take my next video in the opposite direction, whatever that meant for me. It took a while for me to realize what that meant. My next video shouldn't necessarily be a parody. I can't force myself into coming up with a good idea. I don't want to be rash and churn out something like this crap.

Now I'm not ruling out all parodies. (In fact, just recently I've developed a pretty decent idea. I just need to make sure it's done right.) But what I have decided is that I will not change my current video format to concentrate solely on parodies. I'm thinking I'll leave that to this guy:






So that's what's happening for now. If I come up with an awesome idea for a parody, I'll pursue it. But from now on I'm going to make sure I only make the best videos I can, whatever that means.




Captain's Log #1

I seem to have crash landed on a strange planet where some people don't like Neil Diamond.